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Don't Spend Money on a 1st Date.

Q&A with a 38 year old "foodie" in Hollywood.

Tell me about your job…

Working in the hospitality industry comes with a few exciting perks, especially as the Head of Concierge at a trendy hotel. Whenever a new restaurant opens-up I often get a special invitation to their grand opening. This industry privilege grants me VIP service because the venues’ marketing team puts the extra effort to present the most impressive experience– with the hopes that I recommend their locale to hotel guests that are visiting from out of town and willing to spend a bit more for something exclusive, unique, or “5-star”.

I am a local influencer when it comes to the promotion of a new eatery. Thus I have developed a discerning taste for good food and great service in a big city. As a ‘special guest’ to such events, I’m always professional and typically bring a friend or co-worker for dinner tastings. Who wants to eat/drink alone? Plus it’s always comped!

Have you ever overimpressed a date with your love for fancy food?

I did it once. It was not intentional, like being a show-off… I appreciate nice places and gourmet dining, but I took it too far on a 1st date.

I had been chatting with this guy on and found him attractive. We exchanged phone numbers and I thought with my restaurant knowledge I could plan a cool date; something memorable.

I heard about this decadent, fine dining French restaurant that had recently opened up in Hollywood. It was the talk of town with celebrity sightings, and raving-reviews from famous food critics. Through my connections I was able to make a reservation, but because it was a date I planned to (fully) pay and made this clear. I wanted to enjoy the experience by taking someone out and not make the dinner semi work-related.

We had the earliest dinner slot at 4pm and met at the restaurant. I didn’t want my date to feel uncomfortable by the upscale ambiance, so I was upfront that “I would like to pay for the bill. This is my treat.”

Imagine waiters describing detail-oriented dishes like “caviar in chawanmushi topped with imported Hokkaido uni and a rich chestnut soup with extra truffle foam.” I didn’t hold back from ordering, and wanted to truly enjoy this elegant meal with nice company and fine wine.

My date and I had a decent conversation, nothing deep. He may have been shy or just distracted by the waiters and their wordy descriptions, the appetizers, and 5 courses.

How long did the dinner last? Just over 3 hours. The bill came and it was $563, not including tip! I knew it was going to be expensive, but damn. I think we were both tired from eating. The dinner took so long that my date seemed turned off. He was polite and said thanks, but as we walked to valet together– I sensed he just wanted to go home. There was a short kiss between us, but no spark. I never heard from him again. Why do you think the date went wrong? Well, I should have never taken him to someplace so formal. He was appreciative of dinner, but I think he just wanted a hook-up… not to get married! That’s the type of restaurant you propose at! Haha. Poor guy must have been really confused. I built this date up in my head! Looking back, I asked myself “Did I show too much eagerness?” Being on a website like Match, my intention was to date with hopes to be in a committed relationship. Although there was a flirty banter between us, I realized that we misunderstood each other.

Any lessons learned? 1. As a gay man, one thing I learned is that there should be clear communication. Set some expectations. Gay men can be more open with the discussion of sex, so this was a lesson in listening and sharing ‘What are you looking for?’ before even meeting someone online. 2. Never pay 100% for a 1st date. Always go dutch, because you never know the outcome.


Guest Profile David has been a concierge for over 10 years. He loves the culturally diverse city of Los Angeles. He can't imagine living anywhere else, but has considered moving to San Francisco. He is a history buff, poetry fan, and aficionado of Latin Jazz. David has a romantic streak and wants to meet a guy that looks like George Clooney.

Instagram: @findmetheone.stories


Blog Photo Credits: & (Creative Commons). Contributors Disclaimer: Submissions are memoir. It reflects the author/guests present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been recreated. Personal stories are not intended to hurt others-- the intention of this blog is to inspire and entertain.

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