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Rejected: When to take a hint

Updated: Oct 7, 2022

Q&A with a 35 year old that had a one night stand, that almost led to a love triangle.

Tell me about an awkward date... There's this local gay bar that's walking distance from my house. It's a fun, casual scene that gets especially busy on Friday nights and on the weekend. I like going there because of the convenient location and it's familiar-- I see a lot of regulars. Anyways, I remember seeing this specific attractive guy on occasion, sitting alone at the bar. I finally got the nerve to introduce myself and try to start a conversation. There was a natural awkwardness at first chatting (with a stranger), where I was not sure if I'm bothering him because he was not as responsive or engaged. However, I can be super friendly after a drink or two and I thought perhaps the guy had a more reserved personality. So after a brief hello the first time, I had the nerve to ask if he wanted to 'hang-out later'. He politely declined, but I was not giving up... he was so darn hot!

Weeks go by and each time I saw him, I would say hello to "Steve" and flirtatiously ask him out. It was about the third time that he finally agreed. We went out to eat, walked around, and even ran into a couple of my friends. Things seemed to click between us and it led to sex that night at his condo.

I'm basically doing the "walk of shame" back home...

The next morning I quietly got dressed and gently said goodbye as Steve still laid in bed. I'm basically doing the "walk of shame" back home, but pretty excited that I finally connected with this crush of mine. I decided to reach out via text and let him know that I enjoyed our time together. He bluntly replied that he only slept with me to get my roommate's phone number! I was shocked and totally bummed out that he blew me off so rudely. A week later, I saw Steve & my roommate working-out together at the gym. When I got home, I told my roommate that I had slept with Steve. My roommate didn't care and continued to date him for about 2 months after that. At least they had the decency to hook-up at Steve's place. Uggh.

Any dating advice or lessons learned from your experience? At the time when I was trying to pursue Steve, I was very persistent. I was proud that my attentiveness would eventually impress him to give me a chance-- you know, like "third time's a charm." But now in hindsight, Steve had an ulterior motive. The sex was not bad, but he wanted to get to my roommate. That's the lesson: I should've taken a hint with him rejecting my invitation to hang-out over and over again. He was just not interested in me.

"Read the signs and take the hint when it's time to move on."

Guest Profile Mark works in Public Relations. Born and raised in Los Angeles, he loves living in America's biggest gaybourhood: West Hollywood. He hikes weekly and has a passion for musical theater. He volunteers regularly with cultural organizations and believes positive thoughts attract only positive energy. He is also a voice-over actor on a popular, funny, Sherlock Holmes-type radio podcast: Madison On The Air

Instagram: @findmetheone.stories


Blog Photo Credits: & (Creative Commons). Contributors Disclaimer: Submissions are memoir. It reflects the author/guests present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been recreated. Personal stories are not intended to hurt others-- the intention of this blog is to inspire and entertain.

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