Q&A with a 40 year old that felt compelled to rescue a damsel in distress.
How did you meet your ex? Oh God! We were co-workers, sort of. We started off as friends. She was in a rocky relationship, and as time went on 'one thing led to another'. After a few months dating exclusively we decided to move in with each other, around the time Covid hit. I cared deeply for her, but the relationship was unstable-- we would break up and then she would draw me back in. I started to see she had a drinking problem and there was a constant cry for help. We were on & off for awhile, and my dumb-ass kept going back.
"We were on & off for awhile, and my dumb-ass kept going back..."
What was the final straw that made you break up officially?
After being intimate with someone, there are always feelings of attachment. She had some childhood traumas and I felt like I could help her, especially when she was down. Because she could be reckless and I cared, I kept going back... until I found out she was cheating on me.
Anytime something went wrong or not her way, she would cry. However, I had this intuition that she was playing me. Once again, we were dating but I sensed she was lying to me. She would secretly be on the phone, and abruptly hang-up when I came into the room. She would become defensive when I asked questions, but then turn around and be extra-loving and flirty with me. It was a Friday night and we went to her favorite sushi restaurant, we went back to her place and had sex. My gut feeling that she was cheating on me-- needed proof. I was tired of her lies and needed to break the cycle. While she was sleeping, I opened her phone and found a string a text messages with different guys, including a co-worker that was married! I don't know what was her end-game being involved with all these men. I was sick of her b.s. and felt like I was the butt of the joke, always going back to save her.
"My body went numb when I found the proof. My initial reaction was to flip-out..."
How did you tell her it's over?
My body went numb when I found the proof. My initial reaction was to flip-out but instead I stayed calm. I was literally shaking I was so mad. I took screenshots of those text messages + sexting photos, and immediately blocked her number. The next morning I woke up early and surprised her with donuts and coffee in bed. I told her I had to go to work, sweetly said goodbye and before I shut the door I said "Oh, check your text messages."
What was your final text to her?
I forwarded the screenshots and wrote "I hope you have a great day. One more thing, I needed proof! Good luck. You are going to be a side-chick for the rest of your life."
I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I gave her too many chances. She even met my Mother. I was tired of being dragged back and forth. My relationship with her was unhealthy. The final breakup sucks. I'm a good guy and too sexy to deal with this shit...(pause)...It stings a little bit.
What's next for you? What are you seeking?
It feels better talking about the breakup with friends. It hurts less and less as time passes; and I have learned you cannot "fix" anybody.
"I am seeking honesty, trust... not holding onto the past. If you start a relationship, make sure you and your partner are over their ex. After this, I realized I can do better! I'm back to feeling like myself again without the drama."
Guest Profile Scott is an Elementary School Teacher. He is optimistic that "the one" is out there. He loves music, food, and reading comics. He stays fit playing basketball and going to the gym. He loves the energy of living in a big city and is attracted to pretty women that have a good sense of humor.
Instagram: @findmetheone.stories |
Blog Photo Credits: Pexels.com & Pixabay.com (Creative Commons). Contributors Disclaimer: Submissions are memoir. It reflects the author/guests present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been recreated. Personal stories are not intended to hurt others-- the intention of this blog is to inspire and entertain.